Wednesday, September 9, 2009

8-12 Page Fairy Tale Adaptation

Page One

A. A young man is helping an old woman get settled on a couch in a living room. The living room is small and in an apartment. The couch is patterned and old.There is a coffee table with a knitted table runner and a candy dish. A small TV with rabbit ears sits opposite the couch. There are porcelain cat knick-knacks and pill bottles on an end table. The woman looks very frail and sick and has hardly any hair on her head-- she has cancer. The young man is in his twenties. He looks like he could be a freelance writer or a computer tech. He has messy hair and is wearing a light button up shirt and jeans.

B. "Everything okay, Mom?" The young man asks as he hands the older woman a television remote.

C. The woman is grabbing the young man's arm and looking up at him. She is smiling weakly and her eyes are watery. "You're a good boy, Jack."

D. Jack is entering a door into a kitchen. In the foreground we see a pile of medical bills with large amounts of money on them. He is eyeing them nervously. The kitchen is small with an L-shaped counter, a table pushed against the wall with two chairs on one side (the side not against the wall), and a refrigerator.

E. Jack goes to the sink and is washing his hands. His eyebrows are knit in worry and anxiety, presumably about the bills and his mother's health. He is in shadow.

F. There is a knock on the door, KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK and Jack is wiping his hands with a dishtowel. He looks surprised, he isn't expecting any visitors.

G. "Someones at the door," Jack's mother calls off panel and we see Jack walking to the front door in a hurry.

H. Jack is opening the door and there is a man in a suit. "Are you Jack?" he asks. He is extremely well dressed and clean cut. He has a briefcase. He has sharp features and dark hair and eyes. He looks like he means serious business.

Page Two

A. Jack is motioning for the man to sit down at the kitchen table, which is still covered in bills. He is offering the chair closest to the sink. "Would you like some coffee?" Jack offers. He is opening a cabinet door.

B. The man ignores Jack and sets his briefcase on the table. "I am here on business/ about your Mother." Jack is closing a cabinet door.

C. "What about her?" Jack asks defensively as he sits down in the chair opposite the man in the suit.

D. "I have an offer," the man in the suit hands Jack a piece of paper that looks like a contract or some legal documents. "that may save her life."

E. "A deal with the devil?" Jack says as he is holding the piece of paper. We cannot see its contents, but he is obviously surprised/offended/disbelieving.

F. The man opens his briefcase and inside is a black gem, about the size of a walnut. "My master wants you to plant this."

G. Jack is picking up the small black stone as the man in the suit continues to explain. "You'll need to add the blood of a virgin..."

H. "Your mother will be healed / and all of this will go away." The man in the suit is gesturing to the pile of medical bills on the table with a sweep of his arm.

Page Three

A. This panel shows over Jack's shoulder as he is looking at the very fancy piece of paper. "No way," Jack mutters.

B. A panel of Jack looking up, very angry. "You expect me to believe this?"

C. "Believe what you will." The man in the suit sitting in his chair, looking quite smug. Horns are now sticking through his smooth hair and his features are much more demonic/evil.

D. A panel shows a hallway in an apartment building with a few doors. Jack is standing in the entrance of his apartment, while the man in the suit is leaving. "Pleasure doing business with you," the man calls back to Jack. Jack is looking rather pale and shaken up.

E. "The blood of a virgin?" Jack is thinking. A close-up on his hand, holding the black stone on his open palm.

F. "Who was that, Jack?" A woman is standing in the doorway of the apartment across the hall. She is young and pretty and very innocent looking. She has big eyes and brown curly/wavy hair. She could easily be a Kindergarten teacher or work as a waitress in a coffee shop. We see Jack looking over at her. He is in the foreground and in shadow.

Page Four

A. "I'm glad you invited me over," she is saying. Jack is handing her a cup of coffee and she is sitting at the kitchen table in the chair Jack had been sitting before.

B. A close up of her cup of coffee, she is holding it with both hands, balanced on her knees. She is wearing a patterned skirt that's not too short and not too long. "I worry about you and your mother." We need to understand through her physical actions for the rest of the page that she is really more worried about Jack because she likes him in a I-wish-you-invited-me-over-more-often way. She's shy.

C. The girl is in the foreground, her wavy hair behind her ear. She is looking to Jack who is standing at the kitchen counter, with a cabinet open above him. "How is she doing?"

D. Jack's face in profile. He looks very tense and focused. He is looking straight ahead but not at anything in particular. "Terrible."

E. Jack turns and is now facing the girl and leaning against the counter with his own cup of coffee. "Can I ask you something?" The girl replies off panel, "Sure."

F. "Are... are you a virgin?" Jack asks off panel. The girl is taking a sip of coffee and her face is completely red. Her eyes are wide in shock.

G. Jack is now sitting down, reaching out to touch her knee. "It's just that I'm a... and I'm just embarrassed."

H. The girl is looking away from him to the side, embarrassed. "Well..."

Page Five.

A. A wide shot of the girl and Jack sitting at the table. "I am," she says.

B. The girl is sitting in her chair, tensed up. She is fiddling with her coffee cup. "I've never even kissed a guy." She is laughing but is really embarrassed.

C. "Oh," Jack says. He looks surprised and embarrassed and relieved.

D. Jack coughing into his hands and looking away. "Wanna try?"

E. She looks even more embarrassed and is blushing even more now. Jack is standing up. "I'm sorry."

F. "No," the girl is grabbing his arm to stop him from walking away. "I ... I want to."

G. A panel of the girl with her eyes closed. "Just don't do anything gross."

H. A wide shot of the girl sitting in her chair, tensed for the anticipation of a quick kiss. Her eyes and closed and her lips pursed. Jack is still standing and is approaching her. stretched between his hands is a piece of duct tape.

Page Six.

A. A low angle of Jack through the viewpoint of a hole in the ground. His clothes and hands are covered in dirt and he has a red stain on his shirt. He is tossing the black jewel into the hole.

B. Jack is bent over the hole, pouring a red liquid out of a coffee mug. His face is tense.

C. An overhead shot of Jack standing by a hole in abandoned lot in a city. The lot rests between two apartment buildings.

D. A close up of Jack's face. "Nothing." He is very grim and tired looking.

E. An above shot of Jack walking away from the hole. Cracks in the ground extend out a foot or so.

F. Jack is turning around and looking over his shoulder. "What the hell?" We see that the hole he planted the seed in in now a couple feet wide.

G. Jack is peering down the hole in to a firey abyss/cave. This is hell. There is an intricate ladder made of bones like a spinal chord. It twists all the way down.

Page Seven

A. A long panel on the left hand side of the page that is Jack climbing down into hell down the spinal chord ladder.

B. A wide shot of Jack standing in a cave room. There are stalagmites and stalactites, fire and smoke, too. In the room is a little hill that is made up of slabs of black stone. On those slabs is a throne.

C. Jack walks up to the throne that is made of bone and skin. He standing to one side and running his hands along the arm rest. He is amazed. "Satan's throne?"

D. He sits on the throne, which is made for a man that is much larger than him. His feet don't touch the floor and he only takes up the very edge of the seat.

E. Jack looks over and sees a crown resting on a table next to the throne. It is very spiky looking and is black.

F. He is picking it up delicately. "His crown?" He is eyeing it in awe and horror.

G. There is shadows of demons coming down a long cave tunnel that leads into the throne room. Jack is looking up at them.

H. Jack is climbing back up the spinal chord with his arm looped through the devils crown.

Page Eight

A. Jack is walking into the kitchen. The table is in the foreground again, but this time with no bills. Jack is just staring at it in amazement.

B. Jack opens the door to the living room to check in on his mom. "How you feeling?"

C. She looks at him, smiling, "Pretty good."

D. Jack is back in the kitchen, bug-eyed. His back is to the kitchen door and he is thinking : It really worked!

E. It's later in the evening and Jack and his mother are sitting on the couch eating TV dinners. The lamp in the living room is on. "Mom," Jack starts.

F. He is looking at his TV dinner, and he looks pained. "What if someone did something bad but..."

G. His mom interrupts him. She is looking him in the eyes. "Don't blame yourself for my illness."

H. She puts her hand on his arm. "You're a good boy."

Page Nine

A. Jack is laying in bed, staring at his ceiling. "I'm a murderer" he is thinking. He looks queasy and sad about it.

B. He rolls over and looks at a suspicious and wet looking garbage bag. "I hope they catch me" he continues to think.

C. He rolls over again, now facing the window. "No, I'll see if Mom gets better."

D. "Then I'll turn myself in." His eyes are closed but his eyebrows are furrowed.

E. A wide-shot of Jack's room. It's also cluttered, but with posters, clothes, CDs, and an old computer. The garbage bag is next to his bed on the floor, and Jack is all huddled up facing the window. The light coming through the window curtains is orange/yellow. There is a scream outside. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

F. Jack sits up in a cold sweat, his eyes wide. There is still screaming going on. We have a close up of his profile in front of the curtains.

G. Jack is opening the curtains and we see his face lit with orange/yellow light. He looks utterly scared shitless.

H. A scene of fire and brimstone, the Apocalypse. There is fire raining from the sky and demons running amok, Buildings crumbling. Utter chaos.

Page Ten

A. Demons are pouring out of the hole in the ground where Jack planted the gem. The Four Horsemen, little demons, etc. It is an entire army.

B. Jack is sitting on his bed facing the window. His shoulders are slumped and his has his hands on his head.

C. "Hello Jack," the man in the suit demon is standing at his bedroom door. The door is open and light is streaming into Jack's room. Jack is turning to look at the demon.

D. "You never told me this," he turns to the demon. He looks furious.

E. Jack looking down at his hands. "I just wanted to save my mother."

F. "My master wants something you have." The demon in a suit is still standing in the doorway with his arms crossed.

G. Jack makes a mad dash for the crown.

H. "No no no, I've got another deal."

Page Eleven

A. "Give me the crown/ and your mother will live." Long shot of the both of them in the dark bedroom, the only light coming from behind the demon and through the window behind Jack.

B. "I'm through making deals," Jack spits angrily at the demon.

C. "You did this to save her/ you want her to die?"'

D. "I know you're not telling me everything."

E. The demon is stepping towards him, arm outstretched. "Then I'll take it by force."

F. Jack is turning away from the demon, towards the window, putting the crown on his head. The demon in the suit is coming at him with malicious intent.

G. A close up of Jack's face on the bed, he is screaming in agony and where the crown meets his head.

H. A graphic silhouette of Jack transforming into something large and beastly, very Dr. Manhattan from Watchmen, where his body is starting to disintegrate.

Page Twelve.

A. An high angle shot on the demon in the suit, he is down on one knee and is bowing. One arm is swept across his chest. "My lord."

B. A shot of the demons still pouring out of the hole with an off panel speech bubble. "Call them back to hell." The speech bubble is angular and the text is different.

C. "This is not the world she will live in." Another off panel speech balloon showing Jack's mother sleeping peacefully on the couch.

D. Outside in the empty lot the demons going back into hell. The demon in the suit is talking to someone off panel and is looking up. "You did all that you could, sir."

F. A shot from below showing the demons crawling down the spinal ladder, and at the top there is the hole in the ground. "I know" says Jack off panel.

G. Jack's mother is waking up on the couch and rubbing her eyes. She looks even healthier than before.

H. Jack's mother is standing in the kitchen. "Jack?" she is calling.

I. Jack sitting as Satan on the throne in hell with his head in his hands. (If I could have a thirteenth page this would a full page).

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Short Story Comic Adaptation

Page 1

A. A television screen is displaying a big outdoor celebration. A crowd of people are standing outside a magnificent building, not unlike the White House but more modern in design with a huge glass dome and a metal spire. The crowd is a sea of people, obscured by a constant snow of falling confetti. A TV announcer is now speaking over the noise of the screaming crowd. "If you are just tuning in, this is LIVE coverage of the capitol building on Mars for New Year's 1300 A.R."

B. Another shot of the television broadcast, this time showing the top of the capitol building. It is decked out in its ordinary political regalia, but there is an addition of the traditional New Year's Eve ball atop its spire. Confetti is still floating through the air. The TV Announcer continues, "we've had a tough year due to the energy crisis, but people have come out in droves to celebrate this momentous event."

C. The television broadcast continues, this time with a close-up of peoples faces. They are smiling and dressed up, leaning into the camera, whether they are drunk or celebrating a moment of the camera's notice. The announcer continues "we will be continuing our broadcast, LIVE..."

D. A small television is sitting on a desk and there is a man who has been watching it in the dark. He is hidden behind big thick glasses. He is short and balding, his hair very thin and graying. He is hunched forward, with round shoulders and fat hands resting on a belly. His scarred face is expressionless, but he is sweating. He is wearing a work shirt with a badge clipped to his right collar. The shirt is stained. He is Montresor. Lucky bastards Montresor thinks, it's not that warm in space.

E. A panel door slides open to Montresor's left. We see the back of Montresor's balding head, as another man peers into his office. Light is spilling in from the hallway. The man who has appeared in the hallway has a thinner face and looks young. He is wearing a New Year's party hat. He looking confused about the man in the room. "Hey..." he greets suspiciously.

F. A close up on the man in the hallway's face. His eyes are wide with recognition. We see that he has dark hair, smoothed and styled. The sides of his hair are grey. "Montresor!" he announces. "Monty!" He is smiling, but obviously drunk.

Page 2

A. Montresor has gone from stoic to now frowning. His stare is blank. He is being bathed in light and we can now see how intense his scars are. "Captain Fortunato," he gruffly greets.

B. Fortunato saunters into the room. "Cut the crap, I'm just old Fort." He is gesticulating with one hand drunkenly, and in the other he is holding a glass bottle. Fortunato is dressed in his full Captain's regalia, medals and all. There is a wine stain on his white shirt.

C. Fortunato is about to take another drink from the bottle but has paused. Only his eyes seem focused on Montresor. "Not celebrating?"

D. Fortunato drinks from the bottle, its contents splashing down his face. His eyes are shut tight, trying to concentrate. His party hat is askew.

E. Fortunato is wiping his mouth, his arm at an awkward angle, his fist balled. His eyes are glassy and unfocused. "What are you doing down here?"

F. "I'm on call," Montresor calmly replies, shifting awkwardly in his seat. We see him from the view of the towering Fortunato, who is still standing.

G. BEEP BEEP BEEP, a sound pierces the awkward silence. Montresor is checking a small beeper on his belt, shifting because of his large waist. "See," he tells Fortunato.

Page 3

A. "Got a malfunction with an oxygen filters on level J," Montresor explains. He is standing and pulling up his pants. "Gotta go."

B. "I'll come with you," Fortunato offers. He leans forward towards Montresor, spilling some of his drink on his desk.

C. "Not necessary," Montresor says flatly. He is holding his work bag and waiting for Fortunato to step aside to let him by.

D. "Besides, you'll be missing your party. It isn't your kinda work anymore." Montresor is inching past Fortunato, his face scrunched up at the strong smell of alcohol so close.

E. "No, I insist. I want to help you, old friend," Fortunato responds in a moment of clarity. His arms are above his head as he allows Montresor to pass in such a small space.

F. Montresor says nothing but doesn't seem pleased, he is walking down the hallway with Fortunato trailing behind, bottle high in the air, calling, "Wait!"

Page 4

A. "You don't work all the time, right Monty?" Fortunato is following him down a grey metallic stairwell. Montresor has his hand on the railing, but Fortunato is still wildly gesturing and still has his bottle.

B. Fortunato stumbles on the stairs, sloshing drink. His eyes are wide in surprise. He inhales quickly.

C. Montresor turns, still very stoic. "You should go back, Captain. No one would like it if you took a fall."

D. Fortunato waves him aside, and makes a face of disbelief. "Like they'd care. They aren't my friends."

E. Montresor has stopped at the bottom of the stairs and Fortunato leans in, real close and hangs on Montresor. "I consider you a true friend, Monty."

F. Montresor raises an eye at the comment, and his eyes narrow behind his glasses. He looks disgusted.

Page 5

A. Montresor is now bent over, fixing the oxygen filter. He's pulling out a strange foam piece, not unlike soundproofing in a music studio. Fortunato is hovering right behind him, his glass bottle hitting the side of Montresor's glasses.

B. "Hey, why don't you let me give it go?" Fortunato insists. "For old time's sake." We see Fortunato from above, towering over Montresor.

C. "You're drunk," Montresor says, not looking up from his work.

D. "You don't forget the easy stuff," Fortunato says, hunched down and pressing against Montresor to give him room.

E. Montresor gives up and stands, allowing the drunk man to pull a metal coil out of the duct. Fortunato has set his bottle aside. "It's been years," Fortunato drunkenly reminisces.

F. Fortunato is still talking to himself. "Years... Hey, remember what happened at the complex at Mons?"

G. We see Montresor's eyes open a little more than they have been, he is still sweating. Fortunato adds off-panel, "we're lucky to be alive. Lucky."

Page 6

A. A change of color scheme and design denotes a flashback. We see a young Montresor, his face bathed in unknown orange light. His glasses are broken and his face is one of shock, but it is known from the pudgy face that is Montresor.

B. An establishing shot of a huge scientific complex in the mountains. The entire scenery is one red and orange fireball, and black smoke is erupting and filling the night's sky. People are fleeing the site in hundreds. We see the twisted metal framework of once elegant domed buildings melting and crashing to the floor.

C. We see Fortunato, younger, even thinner, running scared. In his arms he holds an unconscious woman. Her long hair is untidy and her face is covered in black smudges. Fortunato's lanyard is trailing behind him and his shirt is burned and torn. A voice off panel calls to him, "Fortunato! Fort!"

D. He turns and sees Montresor, who is trapped under debris, fire all around him. Montrsor only has one arm free and it's reaching out for Fortunato. "Help me!"

E. A close up of Fortunato, his eyebrows knit in confusion. The woman's head is pressed tightly against his chest. His eyes are wide with cowardice and panic. He is bathed in the orange light.

F. We see Fortunato turning and running. Montresor calls after him, furious and scared. "Fortunato! COME BACK!"

G. Montresor is in a hospital, he is covered in bandages and is badly burned. He is expressionless. watching a television. "... saved Chairman's Allen's niece" the TV blurts. "... Fortunato being heralded as a hero."

H. We return to present day, where Montresor's face is in the same position it was in the hospital-- same expression. The only thing changed is that the burns have turned to scars, he is fatter, and his hair has thinned. He shows calm silent rage.

Page 7

A. "What's wrong?" Fortunato is standing, leaning heavily onto the wall. His eyes are squinted into thin narrow lines as if trying to read something that is too far away.

B. "Nothing," Montresor says, looking away.

C. "Well, I got it all done. Not that it's difficult, right?" Fortunato smiles, looking like a completely arrogant asshole.

D. He saunters up to Montresor and elbows him. "If it keeps giving you problems I can put in a JAO2XX593 requisition form for you."

E. Montresor is removing his glasses.

F. "Sorry, a bit of the military lingo," Fortunato smirks. "You wouldn't get it." Montresor is simply cleaning his glasses.

G. Montresor has replaced his glasses and turns his head to look at him. "No, I understand. Just about as well as I understand a 5AT7KLM."

H. Fortunato's smirk has dropped. "What's that?"

Page 8

A. Montresor and Fortunato are standing side by side. Montresor has his hand extended unenthusiastically in presentation. Fortunato looks unimpressed as he asks, "The trash air-lock?"

B. Montresor opens the airlock at a console on the wall, pushing a button. "You'll be surprised what people throw away."

C. Montresor and Fortunato enter into a sea of knee high garbage. Fortunato is in front, looking down, while Montresor stands near the airlock door, arms crossed.

D. Fortunato is bent down, he is holding an iPod. "Wow, this stuff is old tech. Why would you throw this away?"

E. "Maybe they didn't think it had value." Montresor replies, off panel. Fortunato is now holding what looks like a computer keyboard.

F. "I can't believe it," Fortunato says in wonder, turning his head to look back at Montresor.

G. A wide shot of Fortunato, all alone in the airlock, squat down in trash.

Page 9

A. Montresor has sealed the airlock. We see him through the door, for there is a rectangular glass panel about the height of his torso. He is all in shadow, save his shiny glasses. He is looking down at the man who is now trapped in the airlock.

B. We return to the scene of the television screen, The New Year's party is still going on. This time we see the TV announcer in a nice suit and a simple headset. The TV announcer is fired up, "We now begin the countdown to the first New Years ball drop on Mars!"

C. A close up of the ball about to drop down the spire on the capitol building. The announcer calls out, "10... 9..."

D. Fortunato starting to stand up in the trash air-lock, he is taking off his hat, and his hair is a mess. "Haha, very funny." He looks unimpressed, his head at an angle, his eyes rolling.

E. The televisions again, the ball has dropped lower on the spire. "8... 7..." the TV announcer is calling.

F. "What are you playing at Monty?" We can see Fortunato through the panel in the airlock doors. He is walking towards the glass, his arms swinging at his side.

G. Another panel of the spire. "6... 5..."

Page 10

A. "Let me the hell out of here, Montresor! That is an order." Fortunato's face is red, but not from the drinking. It seems he has sobered up. We can see all his teeth.

B. The television screen again, we see people in the crowd. The are writhing, jumping up and down in anticipation and excitement. "4... 3..."

C. "For God's sake, what are you doing?" Fortunato is clawing at the glass. His eyes are rolling madly. Spit is flying out of his mouth and the veins in his neck are bulging. He looks monstrous, and is completely red from the blood in his face.

D. A close up on the lower half of Montresor's face. He is smiling, grinning, like he never has before. "Taking out the trash, Captain."

E. The ball is at the base of the spire. "...2...1!"

F. Montresor's hand is pressing on the airlock. There are warning signs all around the panel about employee safety.

Page 11

A. The television again, a wide sweep of the streets of the capitol. We see the fireworks and the confetti and the crowd going wild. "Happy New Year!" The announcer calls.

B. "Let me just say this..." the announcer begins. A close-up of people being bathed in glitter and confetti. They have their eyes closed and their hands extended as if catching falling snow. "This is an amazing time for the human race!"

C. We see a zoom-out of the city, fireworks exploding above the tiny crowds and the capitol building. The announcer continues "We allow the past to fall behind us, forget the problems, and focus on what lies on the horizon."

D. "I wish nothing but the best this year for everyone tuning in. This has been LIVE coverage..." We see Mars in all its beauty behind a massive orbiting space ship, the name of the ship is the Amontillado.

E. We see Montresor walking away from an completely empty airlock. Through the glass door we can see the darkness of space.

THE END

The previous has been an eleven page script of the classic Edgar Allen Poe short story The Cask of Amontillado for a comic interpretation. If you have never read the short story, and is a rather good short read, you can find it here.